When the Lord walks you through a difficult time, the comfort you feel is inexplainable. Take that feeling, and multiply it by a lifetime. Welcome to my world today. I am experiencing a fulfilled promise today. For the most part, it has been an unspoken secret between me and my Lord. He knows my heart, and I know His. Today is beautiful to me. Thirty-eight years ago today, my mama gave birth to me.
Since that day, my song began. It is far from finished, but is continually being written. If you've followed these blogs, you know a lot of my song. Today, I want to share with you a song that has become my favorite song of this year.
I walked into church on a Wednesday night early in the year. I had just received news that my friend's baby, who had been in NICU, had gone home to be with the Lord. We thought he was fine. There were no words to fill the questions. My heart ached for this friend. The words I heard at church that night were this, "I'm gonna lift my hands, til I can reach Heaven...". I prayed with everything in me for this mama who lost her baby. I felt all she could do at this point was reach up to Jesus, who was now holding her baby. I know she will keep reaching until she is there. So should we. The way we reach may be different, but if we could feel the passion of knowing this is not our home, the way that mama does, we might live a little differently, and a bit more victoriously.
"I'm gonna shout your name, til the walls come falling down." Next line that has become my anthem this year. Some walls had been built up around me, that as I saw them, I thought, "Where did these come from?" I know that sounds crazy, but it happens. You don't realize you're building them up until you run right into them. Some of these walls are taking a little longer to break down, but I am STILL shouting! They will fall down!
"There's a place my eyes can't see, where my spirit longs to be, it's a place of healing, it's a place where I find freedom." So, I know there's more than what I see in this world. I know that so many times in my day, when I am frustrated, Jesus wants me to see through His eyes. Sometimes, I just can't see it. My spirit never stops longing for this place...of freedom! So many of us need to experience healing in relationships, in our bodies, in our thoughts, and in our view of God. I encourage you to seek Him. He will be found!
"There's a love that lives in me, for you Lord, my Savior King, it breaks the sin that's binding, and brings me to a place of freedom." I praise Him for this love! He has given me a love for His people, and this is the only way I can explain it. I love to look into the eyes of people I meet. When I look, that first glance is a chance. It's a chance for me to see them as God sees them. I love when I get a chance to look closer, and share what I see with the person whose eyes look back at me. This is usually not on the first meeting, but these are the people He allows me to develop relationships with over time. These are precious, and I love all my peeps!
In my life I have come to realize, there is not a day that goes by when I won't need my Jesus. We will all go through circumstances that we feel are testing us to our very limit. My sincere hope for you is that you do whatever it takes to find that place of freedom. Know He's got you. Know He loves you. Know He's bigger than anything you are facing.
I want to share with you a place of freedom I have journeyed into today. Let me share the first verse of the song with you. " There's a calm that covers me, when I kneel down at your feet, it's a place of healing, it's a place where I find freedom." At ten years old, I knelt down at an altar. I reached my hands to Heaven, because that's where my mama was now. I knew I loved Jesus, but I also loved my mama in a way I had never loved anyone. I wanted to know all I could about Jesus, and I asked Him to fill the hurt that was formed in my heart. Today, I can say that I love Jesus more than anything! He has given me so much! So many prayers that I prayed as a child have been answered abundantly. A cloud of gloom has always lingered still. It's usually way far behind me, but there nonetheless. That cloud is not there at all today. My mama celebrated her 38th birthday in a coma. I did not spend it with her for the first time in my life. I am spending my 38th birthday WITH my children and my husband, and all my family and friends!!!!!!! This is HUGE to me, y'all! Satan has no hold on me, and I will fulfill the plans the Lord has for me!
So, I haven't shared the chorus with you. Um, and I'm not going to. :) Highlands Worship created this song, and it is beautiful and anointed. I will try to upload it to my facebook page, but if it doesn't work, go buy it off of iTunes. Place of Freedom. Consider it a birthday present to me for you. I would love it if you all listened to it today. Thanks for all the encouragement you all give me! I love my friends in such a big way. He has given me a love for His people, and He gives love right back to me through all of you!!!!!
HAPPY birthday to me!
So Expectant that you can't even imagine,
Ashley
